Sunday 25 November 2007

When woman's love is betrayed (part 3)

Written by Geek Wife

Before I start to blog about this topic. I was reading this blog http://www.mylittlenewhope2.blogspot.com/ couple of days back, passed by one of my MSN contact. It's a blog by a broken-hearted wife whose husband left her for another 'attractive' colleagues of his. Believe me, this is may be the dozen'th time I heard such story. I do wonder in my mind, "how could he did that?"


So I did a bit of research, and found these : http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/446443.html?1186537631

http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/415510.html?1162649300

Those stories are REAL stories from women whose been cheated by their husbands. The more I read, my emotion start to boil to 100 centigrade. At least 70% of them was cheated WHILE they are pregnant. And most those men DENY when the wife ask about their affair. What a coward. If you ask me at that point (while reading those thread) who is deserve to go to hell... I think I would answer those adulterous husbands...!! But, here is my second thought.


The bible example.

And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured....


And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.

Gen 29 : 16-17,30-32





And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.
And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.
And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Issachar.
And Leah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth son.
And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun.

Gen 30 : 16 -20


Here is a classic old time example. Yes, you might scream that it's their own fault that they practiced poligamy. But try to see things on Leah prespective. She is so broken-hearted because her husband doesn't love her, and instead go for his lust and fell crazy for her sister whom described as beautiful and well favoured. You might argue that Jacob wanted Rachel in the first place but was cheated by Laban and gave him Leah instead. Yet remember that God's will is not always aligned with human will. It's God plan for Jacob to wed Leah, because through one of her child Jesus Christ was born. But Jacob still after his own heart and wanted to have Rachel. His decision has cause unnecessary sorrow and heartaches.

Have you done your bit of being a good godly wife?
If you has done your best to be a good wife, you had done your part. It's another story if you has not done your bit and therefore compeling him to look for another 'resources' outside home. But if you had done what you can and being a submissive and loving wife/mother to your children, his affair has nothing to do with you.

However, I did see a pattern. Men tend to repeat their habit of "having affair" more than just once. It's an addiction, he keeps come back for more.

I did ask my husband about it. To his point of view, man and woman are different. It's just like our fondness to buy clothes, bags and shoes, the same way men feels about having a woman.... one is just not ENOUGH. I wanted to argue why he thinks that woman is like an asset (he compared me with bags...!!!) But it's plain to see, us woman doesn't think buying clothes, accessories, shoes, bags, cosmetics, furniture, childrens's clothes, furniture (and the list goes on...and on) again and again is wrong. My husband doesn't see it that way, to him, excessive buying (means buying without any 'needs' behind, which most of the case is) is just plain wrong, it's wasting of money. In other words, it's natural for us to lust in shopping mall wanting stuff that we already have the same way for men to lust seeing a woman even though he already have one!


Another input from my husband : for men, having physical relationship does not equate love, while women tends to think that way.


Divorce doesn't solve anything.
I do wanted to type "you better go and divorce that useless man" many many times while reading the links I pasted above. But after a second thought, I think those words come out of my bitter and hateful heart. Recalling my previous post about "Interview with Karen" she is right to point out that 'forgiveness' is the choice that sets her free from her bitterness past and present life and move on. It doesn't matter whether he repent from his sins, forgiveness is a one way deal. Put it this way, forgiveness is God's way to heal your sorrow. It's easier said than done, but I must testify that I've been through this road before and I've been blessed doing my part (forgiving him) and trusting everthing else into God's hand. Trust me it works! Afterall, God hated divorce... what He had put together no human can put asunder!

Only God can change him.
Many women wonder how can they change their husband. While many found them repenting and in matter of weeks is doing the same old sin, the answer is the change must be from the inside and not the outside. You can't change your husband, only God can change him from inside. Pray for him faithfully, let God deals with his sins and his heart.

If you are reading this and you are not Christian.
All human are sinner, and Jesus Christ died for our transgression far before we even say 'I am sorry'. If you think your spouses has offended you, let me tell you that we had offended God evenmore. He is a holy God, even a white-lie is a big stain in His eyes. He simply can not tolerate ANY sins. But God exceeding love for us has sent us His one and only son, to be punished in exchange for our sins.



But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.

Rom 5:8-11


God loves us more than our spouse's love, more than our parents' love. He loves us even when we are his ENEMIES..!!! Receive Him as your only saviour today. Let Him comfort of your soul. And let Him mended your broken spirit.

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