A travel warning

forwarded by Geek Wife
A bit of useful advice - verified by the Dorset Police

The number does work from a mobile. This actually happened to someone's daughter.
Lauren was 19 yrs old and in college. This story takes place over the Christmas/New Year's holiday break. It was the Saturday before New Year and it was about 1.00pm in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend, when an UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put its lights on.

I would imagine this how unmarked police car looks

Lauren's parents have 4 children (of various ages) and have always told them never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather wait until they get to a service station, etc So Lauren remembered her parents' advice, and telephoned 112 from her mobile phone. This connected her to the police dispatcher she told the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her and that she would not pull over right away but wait until she was in a service station or busy area.

while here is the marked police car

The dispatcher checked to see if there was a police car where she was and there wasn't and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back-up already on the way. Ten minutes later 4 police cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her.
One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground...... ..the man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes. I never knew that bit of advice, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you do not have to pull over for an UNMARKED car.

Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a "safe" place. You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them I.e., put on your hazard lights) or call 112 like Lauren did.

Too bad the mobile phone companies don't give you this little bit of wonderful information. So now it's your turn to let your friends know about 112 (112 is an emergency number on your mobile that takes you straight to the police because 999 does not work if you have no signal). This is good information that I did not know!

Please pass on to all your friends, especially any females.

Interruption

My husband made this :-)

I thought it's pretty neat stuff and decided to let the world know about it..!!!

Geek Wife

When woman's love is betrayed (part 3)

Written by Geek Wife

Before I start to blog about this topic. I was reading this blog http://www.mylittlenewhope2.blogspot.com/ couple of days back, passed by one of my MSN contact. It's a blog by a broken-hearted wife whose husband left her for another 'attractive' colleagues of his. Believe me, this is may be the dozen'th time I heard such story. I do wonder in my mind, "how could he did that?"

So I did a bit of research, and found these : http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/446443.html?1186537631

http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/415510.html?1162649300

Those stories are REAL stories from women whose been cheated by their husbands. The more I read, my emotion start to boil to 100 centigrade. At least 70% of them was cheated WHILE they are pregnant. And most those men DENY when the wife ask about their affair. What a coward. If you ask me at that point (while reading those thread) who is deserve to go to hell... I think I would answer those adulterous husbands...!! But, here is my second thought.


The bible example.

And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured....

And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.

Gen 29 : 16-17,30-32

And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.
And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.
And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Issachar.
And Leah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth son.
And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun.

Gen 30 : 16 -20

Here is a classic old time example. Yes, you might scream that it's their own fault that they practiced poligamy. But try to see things on Leah prespective. She is so broken-hearted because her husband doesn't love her, and instead go for his lust and fell crazy for her sister whom described as beautiful and well favoured. You might argue that Jacob wanted Rachel in the first place but was cheated by Laban and gave him Leah instead. Yet remember that God's will is not always aligned with human will. It's God plan for Jacob to wed Leah, because through one of her child Jesus Christ was born. But Jacob still after his own heart and wanted to have Rachel. His decision has cause unnecessary sorrow and heartaches.

Have you done your bit of being a good godly wife?
If you has done your best to be a good wife, you had done your part. It's another story if you has not done your bit and therefore compeling him to look for another 'resources' outside home. But if you had done what you can and being a submissive and loving wife/mother to your children, his affair has nothing to do with you.

However, I did see a pattern. Men tend to repeat their habit of "having affair" more than just once. It's an addiction, he keeps come back for more.

I did ask my husband about it. To his point of view, man and woman are different. It's just like our fondness to buy clothes, bags and shoes, the same way men feels about having a woman.... one is just not ENOUGH. I wanted to argue why he thinks that woman is like an asset (he compared me with bags...!!!) But it's plain to see, us woman doesn't think buying clothes, accessories, shoes, bags, cosmetics, furniture, childrens's clothes, furniture (and the list goes on...and on) again and again is wrong. My husband doesn't see it that way, to him, excessive buying (means buying without any 'needs' behind, which most of the case is) is just plain wrong, it's wasting of money. In other words, it's natural for us to lust in shopping mall wanting stuff that we already have the same way for men to lust seeing a woman even though he already have one!


Another input from my husband : for men, having physical relationship does not equate love, while women tends to think that way.


Divorce doesn't solve anything.
I do wanted to type "you better go and divorce that useless man" many many times while reading the links I pasted above. But after a second thought, I think those words come out of my bitter and hateful heart. Recalling my previous post about "Interview with Karen" she is right to point out that 'forgiveness' is the choice that sets her free from her bitterness past and present life and move on. It doesn't matter whether he repent from his sins, forgiveness is a one way deal. Put it this way, forgiveness is God's way to heal your sorrow. It's easier said than done, but I must testify that I've been through this road before and I've been blessed doing my part (forgiving him) and trusting everthing else into God's hand. Trust me it works! Afterall, God hated divorce... what He had put together no human can put asunder!

Only God can change him.
Many women wonder how can they change their husband. While many found them repenting and in matter of weeks is doing the same old sin, the answer is the change must be from the inside and not the outside. You can't change your husband, only God can change him from inside. Pray for him faithfully, let God deals with his sins and his heart.

If you are reading this and you are not Christian.
All human are sinner, and Jesus Christ died for our transgression far before we even say 'I am sorry'. If you think your spouses has offended you, let me tell you that we had offended God evenmore. He is a holy God, even a white-lie is a big stain in His eyes. He simply can not tolerate ANY sins. But God exceeding love for us has sent us His one and only son, to be punished in exchange for our sins.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.

Rom 5:8-11

God loves us more than our spouse's love, more than our parents' love. He loves us even when we are his ENEMIES..!!! Receive Him as your only saviour today. Let Him comfort of your soul. And let Him mended your broken spirit.

When woman's love is betrayed (part 2)

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40 : 1-3

editted by Geek Wife

*****

EMILY'S STORY

I write this out of love. Love for the porn addict, love for his wife, and most of all for the children.

I pray this chapter is used for God’s glory and honor, that it might somehow prevent families from being destroyed.

I remember listening to a panel of women James Dobson had on his radio program. They talked about being married for over 20 years and discovering their husbands were involved in pornography. It seemed so unfathomable to me that someone could be deceived for so long. I remember thinking how stupid those women were.

Little did I realize I would be one of those women less than a month later.It was like a birth process. Pain, agony, sweat, tears, hours of intense hurt, and finally truth.

My husband is a porn addict. I heard it. I reacted. For two weeks I was numb. Numb to after 20+ years knowing something was wrong, but not knowing what. A relief to finally know the truth. A relief to now live in reality – in light and truth rather than the unreality of darkness and deception.

*****

My husband would never tell me the secrets of his past before our marriage. I always thought if I loved him enough some day he would tell me. If I loved him enough. . . .We always had a difficult marriage. My husband was always withdrawn and quiet.

I thought I could help him. I was outgoing, attractive, and spontaneous. In our marriage I could never do anything good enough. I was constantly criticized and put down. I thought it was me so I started a self-improvement program, more counseling, more seminars. I learned more was never enough.

My world stopped, knowing something had died in me.My husband always seemed to be “tuned out” – in another world. He worked long hours and often fell into bed at 2 a.m. I missed him. I begged him to come home.I raised the kids as he pursued his career. I told myself I needed to help him.

I poured my heart and soul into his endeavor – supporting and encouraging. There were still problems. When he was home he would go into his office and read his books, newspapers, and reports, and again I would cry myself to sleep.

I had others confront him. I gave this man every chance to tell me about his pornography addiction.

Lies weave other lies. Secrets kill. Comparisons kill.

I feel every time he looked at an image and masturbated he took away a part of me that God intended to be mine. I remember seeing him masturbate and he was in his own world, set on his own pleasure, stimulated and excited by images of women he didn’t know.

It was a feeling of betrayal and heart-wrenching emptiness that a woman feels when she learns that her husband is living a lie. Pornography tears at the very thread of a woman and her femininity. My heart was ripped and uprooted – thrown somewhere into a desert with no place to find refuge. It’s as if I wasn’t enough. Not sexy enough. Not beautiful enough. Not thin enough. Not exciting enough. Women get significance from their relationships with their husbands and when he turns to another for satisfaction it cuts her deeply at the core.I started buying sexy nighties, acting sexier, and suddenly I realized I was bowing down to an idol. It hurt that he chose not to tell me . . . to not allow me to come alongside him as his helper.

*****

To this day he refuses to see the pain that he caused. It amazes me as a wife how we are involved in every other area of a man’s life – his profit margin, his ability to manage, everything – but when it comes to pornography, it’s hidden in deception.

A man’s way seems right to a man.

Porn addiction is very selfish. It takes and takes and doesn’t give back. It’s all for the user’s pleasure.Another lie is that porn does not hurt anyone. Such a web of deception. “And they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness” (Eph. 4:19).

There are consequences and the stakes get higher. It takes one lie to cover another. It saddens me how men can compartmentalize this sin. He has the little wife over here with precious children and this nasty sin over here for his private time, justifying it because he still loves his wife and children. You can’t walk simultaneously in the darkness and the light.I’m a wife. I’m a wife of a porn addict.

I’m relieved to know what it is, though I always knew something was wrong. Tears. Pain. Disgust. Betrayal. To face the death of a husband would be better than this. A widow has the support of the church. A porn addict leaves shame and divorce. It would be easier if he were dead. We wouldn’t have to face the public humiliation and shame.

******

Today is a new day. It’s early morning and I must get breakfast for my children. I take each day as it comes now. Just for today. My husband still chooses his sin and refuses to take responsibility for it. I have to let him go and let the Lord deal with him.

I can no longer be his excuse, his enabler.
It’s a new day and I’m moving on and my Deliver is by my side.

He is faithful. He will never leave me nor forsake me.
He will never break His promise.

To a woman who has been betrayed, this is my comfort.

Hear my cry.
Emily

This is the final chapter of a new book called The Silent War (New Leaf Press, 2000). The book was written by Henry J. Rogers, the chaplain of Interstate Batteries.

When a woman's love is betrayed...

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord,

how oft shall my brother sin against me,

and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times:

but, Until seventy times seven...

Matthew 18 : 21 -22

*****

BY AUGUSTINE PANG
editted by Geek Wife

Interview with "Karen"
A great today's example of forgiveness
based on true story in Singapore

WHEN Karen got married, she made a VOW: In sickness and in health, till death do us part...
She took those words to heart. Even under the most cruel of circumstances, in a time of betrayal.

You would never have imagined how a happy marriage could end so tragically. When she spoke about it, the otherwise strong woman broke down and wept. Again and again.

Put yourself in her shoes.

You have three wonderful children. Your husband takes good care of the family. He loves you and the children, and works hard so all of you can live in reasonable comfort. In other words, a perfect marriage. What more could a woman ask for? Sure, Karen (not her real name), 50, had the usual worries, like her children's education and their careers. But her husband was the pillar on which she leaned. After all, they had been married for 28 years.

Then the pillar came crashing down.

*****

"It was sometime in 1996. A relative was in hospital and needed extra blood. I offered to help. But a month later, the hospital called.

"The staff told me to go down. I was puzzled. I thought my blood group matched my relative's."

The staff and a doctor sat Karen down. They tried to be nice. But they had to ask that inevitable question.

"You're married, but did you have a boyfriend?" the staff asked Karen.
"No, why? I only have my husband," said Karen.
"Are you sure?" the staff asked again.
"Yes, of course," said Karen, sounding a little agitated. "What's wrong?"
The staff paused, and with a deep sigh, said: "I'm sorry, we've examined your blood and you've got HIV".

Karen could not believe her ears.
"How can it be? I only sleep with my husband and I didn't have any blood transfusion," she said, almost in tears.

The staff said: "Maybe we should test your husband's blood."

Her husband, a marketing manager, agreed to be tested.
A few weeks later, the results arrived. It was confirmed: Her husband had full-blown Aids.
Karen said: "I saw my world collapse around me ... I was very, very angry. He didn't say anything."

*****

One day, out of the blue, she discovered the horrible truth: The man she loved, adored and cherished had, in moments of indiscretion, slept with other women when he travelled overseas.

And he had come back with Aids.

Worse, he had passed that dreaded disease to her.

She is now stricken with HIV, the human immunodeficiency virus, which leads to Aids. Overnight, Karen became a statistic in the Ministry of Health records. Of the 930 people living either with the full-blown Aids or the Aids virus, 73 are wives.
Innocent women who were betrayed twice over by their husbands, who slept with other women and then callously put their wives at risk. Most of these women got the disease from their husbands, a spokesman from Action for Aids (AfA) told The New Paper on Sunday.

Karen is one of them.

What did she do? Did she leave him? After all, she had every right to do so.
Karen did exactly the opposite. Instead of allowing her anger to fester, she rose above herself, above her husband's infidelity, above an uncertain future, and cared for him - until he died.

Hers is an inspiring story of forgiveness. Of reconciliation. Of strength. Of courage.

HOW DID IT TURN OUT THIS WAY?
"What's the point of asking. Why ask why? Can the whys make me or him live longer? The angrier I got, the more I didn't want to ask him.

"My children asked me to divorce him. But I didn't feel it was right. Marriage is for life, it's sacred.

"Yes, he did a horrible thing. But he gets punished, too. And his is not just physical torture. He passed the disease to me. He suffered mentally as well."

Karen is not any ignorant wife. She is educated, speaks very well and once worked as an administrator in an MNC. Her three children are in their early teens to early 20s. The family lives in a five-room flat. There was no hint of bitterness in her replies when she spoke to TNP on Sunday. In fact she still kept referring to him as "my husband".

Every time she recalled the good times she had with him, or what good a father he was, she wept. She recalled watching her husband wither away.
As the days drew on, her husband grew thinner and weaker. He left his well-paying job.
In the last six months of his life, he was in and out of hospital.

"I would visit him early in the morning before I started work. After work, I would be there, till 10pm. My entire weekends were spent there."

Karen's 15-year-old daughter said: "My mum would specially cook nutritious meals for my dad.
"Sometimes, he ate only a few spoonsful because he had no appetite. But she made sure he did not go hungry.

"And she talked to him, a lot, just to keep his spirits up. She was on call 24 hours a day, even though she herself had HIV."

Care-giver Ms Pang said: "She (Karen) hardly uttered a single word of complaint... To think that she is the victim."

Karen's husband came down with bronchitis. Towards the end, his lungs and heart failed him.
From a well-built 70 kg, he was reduced to 43 kg.
One early morning in December last year, he died in his hospital bed. He was 54.


THE FUTURE
"It's tough without my husband. I have to do many things which he used to do. The children still need their father. Now, I try to be both father and mother. It's not easy."

Karen controls her HIV-infection through medication. She looks perfectly normal, though she does feel weak sometimes. Now, she devotes her time to her children and keeps herself occupied with activities so that she doesn't have time to think of the past.

How long did the doctors say you can live?
"They say I can live till a ripe old age. But I don't think so. I don't feel weak, but you never know."

What's going to happen to your children if you die?
"The older ones will have to take care of the younger ones. Their security will be this flat," said Karen, pointing to the well-furnished and tidy flat.

I asked her daughter: "Don't you hate your dad for leaving the family in this state?"

She said: "I'm not angry, I just thought it was a stupid thing (to sleep with other women) to do. Since I can't retrace the steps, I just have to make the best of the situation."

Karen said: "As a mother, I don't plant bad thoughts into my children's minds.
"Why bring so much hatred to them? They might just grow up hating their father, and hating men. That's not how I want them to grow up.

As I left her flat, I asked Karen: "What keeps you going?"
"God. He's my strength."

I Thank God.. I am NOT a Turkey!

Happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate it..!!!

Geek Wife

Going to The Dogs

taken from Baptist Bread (by Tim Green)

"...that I might by all means saved some." I Cor 9:22b

A man was confronted by a stray dog that had suffered a broken leg. This Samaritan-like fellow took the dog to a veterinarian and paid to have the homeless mutt's leg attended to, it was set by the vet and soon healed.

Some months passed abd this "healed" dog showed up at the pet doctpr's office with another dog that had broken leg..!!!!

Now, how could a DOG figure that out?!
I guess they are smarter than some of us give them credit for.

The thought I'd like to leave with you today to ponder is this :
You have been helped, why not get someone else to the Helper?
You have been saved, why not get someone else to the Saviour?
If a canine had enough "conviction" to believe that the same doctor that helped him might just be able to cure his companion, don't you think as a converted, committed Christian that Christ could help some of your friends?

Our text teaches us that by all means we should endeavor to reach the lost with the Gospel that changed our lives. Paul said he became weak to the weak and was available to be "made all things to all men". His goal was to see folk saved and that should be the highest priority of ever born again "dog" that has received a crumb from the Master's table.